Sunday, January 31, 2016

Fear

The fear to cling to someone.
Have you ever felt that your heart has always been empty all the time, no matter how much you try to fill in the gaps there is no end to it?
This is how it feels to me right now.
Probably you tend to feel this way once you lose something really important in life... And you would seek others to fill up that gap for you.
Whether is a friend, a soul mate, a best friend, sex friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, anything that could make you feel better and wanted.
This feeling kills you... Cause its something created out of negative thoughts that is illustrated by fear itself...
Once you got it, you want more of it, you desire that person presence, that existence, his/her love, everything, simply you just wanna make that person yours and only for you.
For months I been fighting with this..., this temptation, this hollowness.
Its getting better but, I feel like I am still missing something... something very basic and common.
The thing is... don't surrender yourself to it... It kills your whole life... I have a short taste before pulling myself out of it.

But yeah... Its hard to fight... Cause there is no gurantee that i will win this time...