Thursday, October 22, 2015

Sleepless nights

Been having alot of sleepless night lately...
The moment I close my eyes, images appear... Movement of routines repeating continuously.
It seem endless... The mistakes I made, the parts of movement that can be further enhance, etc...
Make a effort today to go for nyp training and I got enlighten by too much things at one time... End up having a sleepless night...
Now I am wide awake, sitting down at the coffee shop near my block with a can of 100 plus after revising everything...
Lessons starts at 10 tmr so just hoping 6 hrs of sleep is enough for me...

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


Some people are just sickening.
Why I say that? They seek the word destruction. They feel happy when they pull people down, feeling superior, making the other party feel they worth nothing. Best thing is, they don't even know they are such fucked up person.
They would brag about the things they do for hours making rounds and turns just to indirectly praise their abilities is so much better than yours. Some of them don't even know the difference between bragging and sharing, people who don't do reflection before they close their eyes to end a day.
Some even got pretty worst. If someone displeases you why are you wasting your attention on them, stalking and commenting or whatever they do? Only a fucked up person would do that, that amount of saddistic... Or should I say nothing better to do?
And they will go "why is my life so fucked up" or "I am done with me life", ONLY A FUCKED UP PERSON WILL HAVE A FUCK UP LIFE!!!
What you reap is what you sow. If your feeling something is not right in your life than better make some good reflections on yourself, don't blame people around you. After all, your nv in charge of other peoples life, only to yours, changes starts with own reflection.
Know how I walk out of my previous ex? It was not easy. But life didn't treat me bad, it keeps giving me things to do and experience, meeting new people and making new memories. And its not like I couldn't step into another relationship, I choose not to. After all, I gave my all on the previous relationship, scar takes time to heal.
Has anyone heard my difficulties when I am in a relationship? No. Cause if I am gonna love I don't find excuses, nor do I degrade her saying she is being a childish and immature being to someone else. All I did was write down my depressions after the break up here and continue to walk on with my life.
I have nv soil my mouth on anyone to other people, my heart is at peace cause I have no worries over things like this, staying silence.

You wanted something in the past don't regret it now.
Life is always a reflection of which side you stand, positive or negative.

"Everything starts from our own problem, take no one to blame..."

Btw~. I suddenly speak about my previous relationship cause it was what happen recently that make quite an impact in my life so I just took it as an example for the topic life!😂.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Let be honest.

This shall be the most fucking honest post.
I really hate taiji!!!
That damn slow movement which just makes me sleep and I gotta be doing it every week whether its teaching or self training! Like seriously! And its extremely tired like damn it, all those low stances! And cause its slow, all the freaking small tiny details have to be execute out since who can't see clearly what your doing in slow-motion? One mistake and there deduct marks, omg... If there is someone around my age who would tell me they love taiji than oh god, something is so fucking wrong with them!😂😂😂

But... I won't deny it... Taiji helps me out too much... To the point you can really feel it deeply, the changes happening in your body you nv experiences before, plus the baji quan I been learning which really circulates my blood stream, pushing all the clots of blood out of my body... (Which ends up to nose bleeding when I start training, was not the only one who bleed btw!😂)

I Love Baji Quan, its freaking tired, but the passion is there, the will to surpass what I am now.
I hate Taiji, but without it, I would nv had understand things.

Sometimes things you hate to do, will probably be the ones who make you better and stronger...

But most of all... Thank you Shifu...

You also hated Taiji, yet its your best even compare to your Shaolin quan. Hope one day I will be able to understand things to your level...

Friday, October 9, 2015

Secretly an Introvert

Loving Solitude.
Its a place where I calm myself down and find peace within.
Not saying I don't love being an extrovert, but having both of the worlds within me where I can freely control when and where to bring that part of me out to fit the environment.
Enjoying both silence and the company of my friends (Well... Gotta have zero awkwardness though!).
What I am trying to say is. There is nothing wrong to be enjoying solitude.:)


Well Ik I said I change blog but actually I didn't. Just wanna chase someone away who is undecisive, she probably deleted the link so yeap!
Will keep writing at here.:)